How to Stop a Freeloading Boat Guest from Sinking Your Friendship

A close friend regularly invites himself along whenever we take our boat out toward the pass, but he never offers to pitch in for marina gas or help wash down the hull after a long day in the salt water. Last Saturday, he even brought two extra guests along without asking and didn't even bring a bag of ice. How can I establish clear boat-guest ground rules with a long-time pal before resentment sinks our friendship?

— High and Dry in Bayou Texar

Charting a Fair Course on the Water

Dear High and Dry,

Out here along the Gulf Coast, owning a boat makes you popular fast. But as any seasoned skipper from Bayou Texar to Pensacola Beach knows, boat days are pure bliss until the captain gets stuck with triple-digit marina fuel tabs, an unwashed salt-encrusted hull, and surprise passengers taking up deck space. Bringing unannounced guests without even toting a five-pound bag of ice crosses the line from thoughtless to downright brazen.

Your friendship doesn’t have to walk the plank, but your loose house rules certainly do. Longtime friends often fall into a routine of taking generosity for granted simply because no one ever stated the expectations out loud. It is time to establish the house rules of your vessel before the next launch.

Have a casual, direct conversation on dry land over coffee or a bushwacker. Say something warm but firm: “We love spending Saturdays on the water with you, but between marine fuel and maintenance, running the boat has gotten steep. Moving forward, we need everyone chipping in for gas and helping with the wash-down ritual at the dock.”

Next, tackle the passenger limit. Make it clear that your boat’s weight capacity, Coast Guard safety gear, and cooler space require strict headcounts. Institute a simple rule: “No surprise deckhands.” If he wants to invite someone, he must ask you forty-eight hours in advance, and those guests also pitch in for the cooler and the tank.

To make it effortless on outing days, send a group text before shoving off: “Heading toward the pass at 10 AM! Fuel split is roughly $30 per person this week, and we need someone on ice duty.” Clear assignments leave no room for misunderstandings.

A true friend will appreciate the transparency, grab a scrub brush at the dock, and happily Venmo their share of the fuel. If he pushes back, he is not looking for quality time with you—he is looking for a free charter. Stand your ground, Captain.