Pensacola
Closing the Perdido Key B&B: How to Set Boundaries with Summer Guests
Dear Aunt Clara helps a frustrated condo owner set firm boundaries with freeloading family members.
My sister-in-law and her family have started treating our condo like a free, fully-catered resort every single summer. They expect me to play tour guide and cook three meals a day even though I still have to work my regular shifts. How can I gently tell them that while I love seeing them, this local B&B is closed for the season?
— Sunburnt and Stressed in Perdido Key
Dear Sunburnt and Stressed,
Oh, honey, shake the sand out of your shoes and take a deep, deep breath. There is something about the salty air of Perdido Key that makes out-of-town guests think our door keys come with a complimentary concierge license. Living in paradise is a blessing, but it shouldn’t turn you into an unpaid resort coordinator—especially when you still have to punch the clock!
Set the “House Rules” Before They Pack
The key to reclaiming your sanctuary is setting expectations before they ever cross the bridge onto the Key. Send a warm but firm message ahead of their next visit. Try something like: “We are so excited to see you! Since I’ll be working my usual shifts, I won’t be able to play tour guide or prep meals this time around. I want to make sure you have a great trip, so here is a list of our favorite local rental spots and restaurants!”
Establish the “Self-Service Sandbar”
When it comes to feeding the crew, declare the kitchen a “self-service sandbar.” Stock the fridge with a few basic breakfast staples, but make it clear that lunch and dinner are either a group potluck, takeout, or their treat. Point them toward the nearest grocery store and let them know where the pots and pans are. If they expect a three-course meal, they are welcome to cook it themselves or explore our fabulous local dining scene.
Protect Your Work Hours
When you are working, you are unavailable. Period. Close your office door, put on some headphones, or even slip away to a local coffee shop if you must. If they ask for a ride to the beach or a tour of the lighthouse while you are on the clock, simply smile and say, “I’d love to, but my job expects me to actually work for my paycheck! I’m all yours for a sunset toast at 6:00 PM, though.”
Setting boundaries isn’t unkind; it’s how we keep from resenting the people we love. Enjoy your summer, keep your cool, and remember that you are a beloved sister-in-law, not a five-star concierge.
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