Dear Aunt Clara
No Vacancy for Freeloaders: Setting Beach Condo Boundaries
Aunt Clara helps a stressed Perdido Key host turn their ‘all-inclusive resort’ back into a peaceful home.
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My sister-in-law and her family have started treating our condo like a free, fully-catered resort every single summer. They expect me to play tour guide and cook three meals a day even though I still have to work my regular shifts. How can I gently tell them that while I love seeing them, this local B&B is closed for the season?
— Sunburnt and Stressed in Perdido Key
Dear Sunburnt and Stressed,
Oh, honey, I can feel the heat radiating off this letter all the way from my porch. There is something about the salt air in Perdido Key that makes out-of-town relatives forget that local residents actually have to work for a living, rather than just lounge on the beach waiting to serve up shrimp cocktails. Loving your family does not mean you have to run yourself into the sand.
Establish the House Rules Early
Before they even pack their sunscreen for the next trip, you need to have a loving but firm chat. Right now, they are operating on “vacation brain,” while you are operating on a regular work week. Send a warm text or make a quick call to reset expectations. Try saying something like: “We are so excited to see you, but things are going to look a little different this year. Between my work shifts and daily life, I won’t be able to play chef or tour guide during the week.”
Transition to a Beach Co-Op
Your condo is a home, not an all-inclusive resort. It is time to transition your visitors from passive guests to active co-habitants. Hand over the kitchen reins. Let them know ahead of time that they are in charge of their own breakfasts and lunches, and lay out a collaborative schedule for dinners. Better yet, suggest they take you out to dinner at one of our great local spots to thank you for the free lodging. If they want to sightsee during the day while you are clocked in, hand them a brochure for the Gulf Islands National Seashore and wish them a wonderful adventure.
Set a Strict Time Limit
Finally, remember that you have the right to limit the length of their stay. A long weekend is delightful; a fortnight is a hostage situation. If a week is too long, gently let them know that you can only host them from Thursday through Sunday this year due to your busy schedule. Setting these boundaries isn’t unkind—it’s how you keep from harboring resentment. Now, go put your feet up, pour yourself something cold, and reclaim your castle.
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